InsaneJournal

Current mood:	sad
Current music:	irony dance - LM.C

Stained Life
yesterday morning Aki and i had a very morbidly sad start to our day. we had just stepped outside. Aki walked ahead as i struggled to lock the door. our lock is fucked up. that is why i have trouble. i do know how to work it. it just doesn't like to work.

she was about to step off the porch. with a very odd look she said to me "there's a cat." my stomach just sunk. the past few days have been very snow filled and extremely cold. most nights are in the single digits or even lower.

slowly i walked over and looked. laying in the snow was a beautiful black cat. it was obviously dead. it was way too cold. my heart just felt like it was torn in half. the cat looked so peaceful. it was just laying on its tummy. i do realize that death in this case was best. now the cat doesn't have to suffer the cold any more. at least it was also a peaceful death. this cat did not suffer from wounds or something. it could have been worse.

i cried immediately. all i could think about was what this poor cat had been going through before laying down to die. even now i tear up. even though i knew it was gone a part of me had hoped that when i bent down to pet it that it would wake up. part of me wanted to find that we had found it just in time to save it. of course that was not so. i cried so hard.

we knew we could not just leave it there. so i went inside to find a bag and a box. i went back out. this poor creature was frozen to the snow. i couldn't stop crying as i tried to free it. i got the cat free. aki and i put it in a bag and placed it in the box. we set it on our back porch for the time being.

the whole way to work i cried. i just could not get the images nor the thoughts out of my head. a half an hour later we arrived at work. i was still upset. through out the day i thought about the cat. it was the saddest thing i have seen in quite some time. it affected me greatly.

Doku's grandfather is going to take the cat down to his place and bury it. he has an area that has special soil that doesn't freeze. the cat will be buried there.